Jake and Bathsheba

A blog by two cats who used to live in the same house in Northern Virginia. Unfortunately, they are both no longer with us.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Thursday Thirteen - Resolutions

13 New Year's Resolutions We're NOT Going to Make:
  1. To lose 10 pounds. (Heck, there'd be next to nothing left of us!)
  2. To exercise more. (We feel a nap coming on.)
  3. To read more classic literature. (We can't even keep up with our friends' blogs.)
  4. To get the paperwork organized. (We'd rather just knock the piles onto the floor.)
  5. To eat more fruits and vegetables. (C'mon! We're carnivores.)
  6. To stop smoking. (Um, we never started such a disgusting habit!)
  7. To get an annual physical. (We already do this against our will.)
  8. To vacuum the house at least once a week. (You'll never see us near that toy sucker-upper!)
  9. To clean out the shed. (Are you kidding? If it involves heavy lifting, we'll make ourselves scarce.)
  10. To stop procrastinating. (Maybe NEXT year.)
  11. To eat fewer sweets. (We don't even like sweets anyway. Give us a good tuna truffle!)
  12. To clean out our closet and take the excess clothes to Goodwill. (Unlike Skeezix, we have only one outfit each - our lovely fur coats.)
  13. To be better people. (We're CATS - we already are perfection!)

~J&B

16 Comments:

At Thursday, December 28, 2006 2:10:00 AM, Anonymous Karen Jo said...

Those are good resolutions not to make. I am glad that you had such a nice Christmas.

 
At Thursday, December 28, 2006 8:41:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

heh heh heh, I like your resolutions! I do not like the vacuum machine either.

 
At Thursday, December 28, 2006 9:55:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great list! #13 is so true! :)

Exercise is fun, though! Chasing wand toys and mice is lots and lots of fun!

 
At Thursday, December 28, 2006 5:01:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

our Lady wuz ackshully thinkin' 'bout doin' summa those, but after readin' yur grate explinashuns, she desided not to.

 
At Thursday, December 28, 2006 5:02:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

our Lady wuz ackshully thinkin' 'bout doin' summa those, but after readin' yur grate explinashuns, she desided not to.

 
At Thursday, December 28, 2006 11:54:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good list of "anti-resolutions" ... Don't people know that cats don't need to improve on perfection? I mean, that's impossible, right? Perfect is perfect.
DMM

 
At Friday, December 29, 2006 12:42:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great lists of things not-to-do.

 
At Friday, December 29, 2006 7:50:00 PM, Blogger Eric and Flynn said...

Good list an good reezuns not to do them.

 
At Saturday, December 30, 2006 4:06:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jake and Bathsheba,

Thanks for dropping by my blog. I enjoyed your resolutions but, really, I don't bother with them as it puts waaaay too much pressure on me and I don't want to stress myself.

 
At Saturday, December 30, 2006 12:08:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Verry smart rezolushuns not to make. Way to go!

 
At Saturday, December 30, 2006 1:42:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

J & B, I really like your approach... the resolution immediately accompanied by a valid reason to break it. Saves a lot of time going back and remembering your excuse.

Good job.

 
At Saturday, December 30, 2006 9:59:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great non-resolutions!

Oh, and Bathsheba, about all the eligible male cats being snapped up, I noticed on Rocky's blog that Maxwell at Crew's Views was complaining about Rocky stealing all the girl-cats! I think he's single! And maybe his brother George too!

Also, Ed the Rotund has a couple brothers, though I think Nitro might be a bit....ummm...frisky for your tastes!

 
At Saturday, December 30, 2006 10:30:00 PM, Blogger Rosie & Cheeto said...

What a grate idea. Why do thowse silly huemans keep making resolushuns thay are going to make? These are much more impressive!

Owr favurite is #10 - Ummmm, we dont know why but we'll think abowt it and get back to yoo!

 
At Sunday, December 31, 2006 6:05:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those are *great non-resolutions, J&B ... my favorite is #3!

 
At Sunday, December 31, 2006 6:34:00 PM, Blogger Kimo & Sabi said...

We wish you a furry happy, healthy, safe, snuggly, flea-free, Temptations-filled New Year!

 
At Sunday, December 31, 2006 7:55:00 PM, Anonymous Icon Baxter Bentley said...

I wish you both a happy and healthy New Year!

I think those are very good resolutions for 2007

 

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