Tales of Devotion Entry
Mom submitted an entry in Skeezix's Tales of Devotion Contest. We invite you to vote for us. Read Mom's submission here. She really does love me, but I think she should have written even more. She doesn't say anything about how I love snuggles and will sleep in her lap, cruise the Jake Highway, keep the yard safe by patroling for those pesky raccoons, rid her of annoying leftovers of chicken and salmon, wash pots and pans, and perform quality control on the comfort of all the cushions both inside and outside the house. I keep this house going; I am the prince. I think I merited more than a couple of paragraphs, but you be the judge. And why did she have to muck up MY entry by combining me with Bathsheba! She drags down the whole ticket and will cost me many votes. Please ignore her and cast your ballot for ME!
Jake, you're so full of yourself. Mom could have written more about me - about how I was a great hunter before I retired, how I would rid the garden of those rodent voles and keep the squirrel population in check. She could have mentioned that I follow her faithfully and provide companionship as she gardens. She could have noted that I sleep at her feet and that I am very patient about having breakfast served later on the weekends. And she could have emphasized that I have to endure the stress of living with you, Jake, how you constantly try to intimidate me, how you coldly wrestle me to the floor before dinner, how you take away any toy that I like, how you like to take over the great napping spots. The list goes on. But Mom did express her love for me, and that's the best thing. I know that there are a lot of excellent entries, but I'd appreciate your vote because Mom is truly devoted to us.