Tortitude Tuesday: I Have Three Stars for a Reason

It started out with a trick. I thought that Mom was going to feed me my dinner, but instead she snatched me up and rudely shoved me into the PTU.


It was time for my annual vet visit. I was NOT HAPPY, but I didn't yowl TOO much during the 10-minute car ride. Now Tripper accused me of being "dainty" when I balanced on the birdbath, but I don't think that's an adjective that many people would use to describe me when they see me at the vet's. I have three stars on my file so they know to watch out for me. I think that you get one star for hissing, two stars for growling and maybe scratching, but you get THREE stars only if you bite and DRAW BLOOD. I lived up to my reputation today.


To begin, I cooperated a little so they would let down their guard. The tech lady weighed me, and I will admit that I am getting a little "voluptuous," Tripper's synonym for "porker." I weigh 11 pounds now, and the vet was actually happy about that. She thinks it's good for senior kitties like me to have a little extra rather than be losing weight. I didn't tell her about those Temptations that Mom feeds me now that I've become a blogging cat and learned about such great treats.
Anyway, after I was weighed, they left Mom and me alone in the examining room. Mom got out her camera, but I foiled her shot.


I went under the corner seat. Mom tried to reach for me to put me back on the table, but I was very cross and bit her! She deserved it for putting me through this torture.

The vet lady came in, and I scooted under the examining table in a small cabinet that housed a refrigerator. They tried to take the refrigerator out, but it was too tight. After donning the gauntlets, the young tech tried to pull me out from that space, but I would have nothing of it. I growled and hissed to show my grave displeasure.

Unfortunately, they would not leave me along. She tried another tactic and was able to reach me from the adjoining sink cabinet. I cursed and said all of the words from Skeezix's bad word list, but to no avail.

They plopped me back on the table and I got a shot. At least they didn't dare take my temperature! The vet told Mom that I was probably a good candidate for a vet that makes house calls. Oh, that might be fun. There are lots of places to hide at home!

Here are two shots of the marks on Mom's hand. You can see a total of only three bite marks because I'm missing one of my lower fangs. She says that the wounds still smart. Next time she might don the gauntlets.

So, Tripper, do you still think I'm dainty? For a guy who asked me to join his harem a while back, you sure don't know how to sweet talk a girl. I'd bite you hard if you ever tried to bunny kick me.

~Bathsheba

Bathsheba's Kill and Jake's Trip to the Vet

Hey, Tripper, you called me "old" at the big birthday party yesterday; I'd look up your exact words, but Mom is too cheap to pay Chatzy $9 for the full transcript. Yeah, I know that at nearly 16, I'm getting up there, but while I like my naps and relaxation, I still have tortitude and I have a killer instinct.

After the party, I decided I needed to kill something, so I went outside and this vole made the mistake of crossing my path. I don't think that big ol' Trip will be bunny-kicking ME.

~Bathsheba

And Tripper, that Psycho Cat, called me a WEENIE just because I was drinking plain water at the party. I'd had an upset stomach, and I didn't want to drink anything that might make me barf at the party. My mom taught me some manners--no barfing at other people's houses.

Anyway, I was feeling way better by last night, and I was back to myself again this morning-hungry! I won't admit to foraging in the compost pile the other day, but I must say that the smell of cantaloupe drives me wild. But not like catnip wild! Who says it was that, anyway? It could have been something from a nasty neighbor's house.

Even though I was feeling perfectly well, Mom rudely put me in my PTU tonight and whisked me off to the vet in her car.

You can plainly see that I was not too happy about this trip. Mom apparently made this appointment months ago.

Here I am in the waiting room. This photo looks suspiciously like one from a blog post in January.

And here I am in the examining room being weighed. I gained about an ounce since last January. Mom measures my food so I don't have a chance to gain weight unless I check what's available around the neighborhood.

One of the next things they did was take my blood. I know that Bathsheba and Rocky always take their blood, but I had to donate some of mine. First they poked me in one leg and couldn't get enough--they said I have tiny veins--then they poked me in the other leg and got a big enough sample. I was stoic and didn't cry. I'm glad that Mom petted me the whole time instead of taking pictures.

The tech tried to get a poop sample by sticking this thing up my poop hole, but I said enough was enough and protested that indignity! Instead, they gave Mom a little plastic container for a sample. Good luck! I like to do my business in the privacy of the woods.

The doctor gave me some shots, and I didn't even flinch as Mom stroked my fur. They ran some tests, and the doc said that my thyroid levels are high (6.5 when normal is 1.5-4.5), but that I looked good otherwise. Unlike another vet that we saw before, this one said that the hair loss on my tummy was caused by stress. Mom told him that another vet said that was one of the symptoms of my hyperthyroidism, but this one said no. Sometimes Mom gets so exasperated by all the different vets' conflicting perspectives. This vet wanted to up my medication dosage, but because I had been off my meds or a day and a half, he decided he'd keep it the same and retest me in a month. Ugh--another blood donation coming up. Mom is reluctant to have my dosage increased because I became lethargic when it was upped before. She thinks I nap enough as it is.

I know that this was a lot to read, but I AM a cat and the center of the universe (at least our universe here in this house). Our 200th post contest is ongoing, everyone. Sorry, Skeezix, but July 2 was NOT it. If you manage to wade through this post, then keep those comments coming and you may win yet!

~Jake